A Journal on Level 3 Human Existence by Noah Albright

20261011 Rocky is a masterpiece

If you ask me what my favorite movie is, it will depend on what mood I'm in but like 40% of the time I'll tell you it's Rocky. Rocky isn't an exceptionally exciting movie for the most part and a lot of it is actually kind of dull. But the dull moments are what makes Rocky so beautiful. My favorite part of the whole movie is when he wakes up early as fuck, he's shivering cold, clearly doesn't want to be awake but procedes to crack some eggs into a cup and drink them raw. He's pissed off with zero motivation and the only reason he's doing any of this is to prove to himself that he CAN BE SOMEBODY. He grinds away, preparing for a fight that he knows he's gonna lose and all he wants is to know that he is someone who can go the distance. The slow structure of the movie compliments the theme of putting the work in and when he actually fights Apollo Creed, who by his own right is a beautifully written character, Rocky loses. That doesn't even matter though. Rocky actually did it. He won the fight with himself. He went the distance and proved to himself that he's a real warrior.

I don't think any movies were necessary after Rocky 1. It stands alone as a masterpiece about conquering self-doubt. I'll concede that the others are more exciting to watch but that was never the point of Rocky. He never needed to win in a rematch with Apollo Creed (Or beat up Mr. T) . All he needed to do was go the distance.

20261010 How Chess makes you a better person

My whole life I've bounced between obsessions and currently my obsession is chess. I love chess so much that I spend all of my free time playing it, I spend every chance I can get playing it at work, and when I close my eyes, I see board positions.

There is a spiritual principle that the artist sees God in art. The traveler sees God in the journey. The mathematician sees God in math. It's important to specify that when I say God, what I'm refering to is the principle you come to understand in elevated states of mind that 'everything is everything else'. That's to say that God is the curriculum of life itself. When I was a runner, I learned the lessons of existence through overcoming limiting beliefs and finding principles that were more powerful than the voice saying 'stop running' or 'you can afford to slow down'.

Now I see that chess is another beautiful microcosm of life. The lessons that I have learned while playing it apply to my life at large. When you're faced with a disadventageous situation, you can kick and scream and make things worse or you can revector and work with the circumstances that you have. The general change to my mindset happened fast and after about a month of my chess playing, it's already cemented into my mind.

This was kind of a bullshit entry so I made the site look a little bit cooler.

20261002 baby's first fire from within

Most people you meet are not on the quest for the holy grail even though they naturally would be if they weren't beaten into submission. Alas, at some point, most people were taught something along the lines of 'this is a dark uncaring world and you have no power to transform anything'. I was taught that as well and it took heavy introspection and being present through imnmense suffering in order to come to the realizations that I have.

But what do I mean by the quest for the holy grail? One can liken it to the alchemical quest for the philosopher's stone or the thelemite's quest to develop the astral body. It is the quest to become as God as man can be. By now, I've attacked the materialist position in passing and this is the final time that I intend to. Everything after this entry will presuppose the denial of material reality as the ultimate truth.

So let me tell you this - your body and mind is not the entirety of your being. In order to swallow this example, you'll need to use some high level empathy so lock in a little. People who have had bad seizures report feeling their mind fracture. That's to say that they experience seperate trains of thought at the same time. Allthewhile, there is only ONE consciousness experiencing all of it. This example would be easy to dismiss if there was a 'consciousness' lobe that receives signals from every other part of the brain, but that is not the case. In fact, there is absolutely no leading theory on the source of consciousness within neuroscience. Many neuroscientists who study consciousness come to the same conclusion that our awareness is something completely immaterial. I already have the insider info that consciousness is God itself but if you're not there yet, disregard it. For now, you can just be someone who has some questions about consciousness.

It might seem fruitless to make arguments like that, but I plant seeds every opportunity I can. It is man's purpose after all to spread his seed in every sense of the word.

Back to the point...

The search for the grail is not about reading spiritual wisdom and becoming more and more versed in metaphysical theories. It's about attaining wisdom in the way that is natural to you. It's about chasing the things that ring a bell in your heart. It's about finding a way to not accept, but love, the tragedies of life. It's about becoming who you actually are - a GOD. a GOD in man's flesh. Christian theology has done a beautiful job of destroying Jesus' teaching more than any pharisee or atheist ever could dream to. Jesus fucking figured it out. He cracked the code and gave us the combination but men in their fetish for despair decided not to listen and instead to worship Jesus as a sovereign authority who will make the determination of whether they should live in eternal paradise or suffer for all of eternity. What a loving figure right?

But believe me when I tell you that you are God, living the life of a human being. The only reason that we suffer is that we forget this. We forget that inside of us is infinite grace, infinite understanding, infinite love. The quest for the holy grail is the quest to awaken to this truth. Even though I understand it on an intellectual level, I still have much to do on the front of awakening. There is a lot of reconciling left for me to do with the world that I live in.

20260926

Wisdom is a tricky thing to transmit to other people. With practical knowledge, you can just tell someone, "This is how this works" and 9 times out of 10 they will get it. You cannot simply tell someone 'you are wasting all of your energy chasing a feeling that doesn't exist'. Sure, you can say it but you'll trigger every defense mechanism they've ever built. Even though it was a true statement and they would benefit to understand it, it is tied to their very experience of this world which makes it something that must be learned gradually. I have moment where I feel that I am capable of working around defense mechanisms and leading people to greener pastures but what I've discovered is that stirring the energy in others without their will ALWAYS has disgusting consequences. They can become depressed without their idols. they can become emotionally dependent on your approval (As a sidenote, sometimes this happens anyway because of their personality. The only energetically responsible response I've found is to ignore this behavior altogether and treat them based on your genuine feelings.) They can also begin to hate you with all of their being and find ways to sabotage your life.

Obviously these outcomes are suboptimal so I cannot advise enough against playing the clever psychoanalyst. But if you're a compassionate person with a little bit of wisdom under your belt, you will naturally want to help people. The good news is that the answer is the same as in many of the social problems you've encountered so far: JUST BE YOURSELF. Do what you want to do. Get interested when you're interested. Walk away when you're not. Raise your voice when you're passionate and be gentle when you feel gentle. It really is that simple. By just being the person that you are and not participating in the ego games of lower level consciousnesses, you are giving them the fertile soil that wisdom can grow in.

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. So make sure your horses always have access to water. And when they drink, don't celebrate so loudly that it scares them.

20260803

For those of you who have gone through cognitive behavioral therapy, this concept is probably something that you are sick of hearing of. If that is the case, just stop being a pussy. You are so preoccupied with being pitied that you forgot the whole point of trying to be pitied in the first place was to be loved. I don't say this lightly, I mean it as a 100% true statement: HUMAN BEHAVIOR IS MOTIVATED PRIMARILY BY THE DRIVE TO BE LOVED.

I can hear the bitter contrarians already, so allow me to clarify that to be loved can be an entirely solitary experience. Some call it God's love, but I prefer to look at it from the psychoanalytic lens of 'The experience of love is a baby's sense of security'. A baby feels secure in the presence of its mother and as it matures, the mother as a concept is gradually replaced by the complexities of the world. Thus in order to feel loved, you must understand the relationship you've built with the world, and then reframe it.

And herein lies a crucial concept for self growth. It's a 2 step process that underlies almost every aspect of self-actualization. First comes acceptance, then comes growth. You will never be able to change if you're not even willing to face the facts about what kind of person you are - what your weaknesses are and what your most evil tendencies are. When you cope and tell yourself things that aren't true, you're basically just playing a game where your prize is that you get to keep feeling like a victim.

Back to the point...

That tangent was long-winded and borderline unnecessary but I said some good stuff so I'll leave it. To get back to the matter I actually planned to write about; Watch the things you say, and think about how to transform your loserthink into winnerthink. We established yesterday that winners use words that empower themselves and losers use words that lessen themselves. A good example is the use of the word 'just'. This one is so much fun to me because winners and losers use it in such a way that perfectly illustrates the deeper point I'm meaning to make here.

The winner uses the word 'just' in order to convey the ease with which they accomplish things while the loser uses the word 'just' in order to convey their powerlessness and evoke pity. For example, when the winner wins an award and is asked to give a speech he says 'I just did my best'. When the loser fails at a task and is asked to explain why he failed he says 'I just did my best'. Understand that while the words are the exact same, the meaning is almost opposite. The winner meant 'all I had to do is try, and I got what I want' and the loser meant 'I do not have the ability to complete the task'.

Of course this analogy is flawed because it already places the winner in an advantageous position and the loser in a disadvantageous one so let's flip the roles in order to really understand the difference in perspective. The winner fails to complete a task and is asked to explain why he failed. He says 'I should have done x but I did Y instead'. Here he is demonstrating confidence in himself. He does not see the failure as a sign of his poor character but as a lesson learned. Inversely, when the loser wins an award and is asked to give a speech, there's no telling where he will go with it. You see, when a loser is put in a position of power, even if just for a second, he will reveal so much about his neurotic psychology but the fact is that every loser is different in their neuroses. Even though we put the loser in a box in order to use the word 'just', it is difficult to generalize what kind of bullshit a loser is going to say, but have no doubt - it's going to be bullshit. This is part of the reason that the winner is easier to put ina box. He operates in accordance with reality and reality is generally far more simple than bullshit is.

This article was a bit disjointed but I got across a lot of my observations so I'm content with it. For my next article I'll probably go in a different direction - something more fun.

20260802

We live in a world of illusion. All of life is just a dream and with consciousness we can control the dream. That statement, once understood, is the backbone of creating a life worth experiencing.

If you buy into the fundamental premise that life is only a dream, then you will understand that our beliefs shape our reality. How does one change their beliefs then? With words. It is no coincidence that the abrahamic religions, which each have their own claim to ruling the world, all equate the spoken word to God's power of creation. You can come to your own conclusions about the origins of this world, but I have encountered this truth from the level of pure rationalism as well as from my spiritual experiences. Words have the power to fundamentally transform your life.

If this isn't making intuitive sense to you, then I urge you to read a book called 'The Four Agreements' by Don Miguel Ruiz and 'Journey to Ixtlan' by Carlos Castaneda. They both follow ancient mesoamerican teachings about the nature of reality at a fairly introductory level.

Cool so you understand the illusory nature of life and I've posited that we can steer our lives using words. From here, I'll give you practical examples. Look at sad people and the words they use: 'I don't know how', 'Why does this always happen to me', 'It's not fair'. Let's look at the subtext of these statements. Each one contains the presuppostion that life is something that is happening to them, rather than something they are doing. There is an implication that there is a physical power above them and they are not in control. To refer back to Judeo-Christo-Islo teachings, there was the moment when Moses met God on Mount Sinai and he asked a question to the effect of 'What do I tell the people that you are?' and God said:

I AM.

That, to me is the core of using words to create a better dream. Use 'I am' statements and avoid 'I am not' statements. It cannot be overstated how stupid some of the most powerful and successful people in the world are. The only difference betweem you and them is that they have complete and total faith in themselves: I AM.

to put a bow on this topic, I will leave with some statements that will make your life better if you repeat them 100 times a day for just a week. 'There is nothing that I can't overcome'. 'I am the king of my own world'. 'I am capable of solving any problem because I take decisive action'. I can keep going on but my goal here isn't to prescribe a solution for you. It's to guide you towards an inward discovery of what you are capable of becoming when you use words to empower - not lessen - yourself.